You’ve probably heard the term “situationship“–but what is it?
As you might have guessed, it’s not quite a relationship… but not quite not-a-relationship. A situationship is a relationship that’s also a complicated situation–one that hasn’t (yet) been defined. So what’s the difference between a “relationship” and a “situationship”?
A situationship is pretty noncommittal, like a one-night-stand that goes beyond the one night, for example. Or you might not be dating, but you are going on “dates”. If you’re in the awkward stage before you’ve defined the relationship, you’re likely in a situationship. (Another example is casual relationships, as well as friends-with-benefits situations.)
A situationship doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Lots of people would prefer a casual relationship; the problems come when feelings enter the picture, especially if they aren’t requited. Can you tell whether or not you’re in a situationship?
A relationship will have deep conversations; a situationship has mostly small talk (and possibly dirty talk). Most people want to be able to have a meaningful conversation with their partner, not just talk about what happened at work that day. Do you find yourself struggling to move beyond small talk, or only talking about feelings when they’re, you know, sexy feelings? That’s a sign that your relationship might be a situationship, and only skin deep. If that’s a problem, it’s good to have a conversation with your partner about communication and talking about “real” things in your lives.
Relationships have long-term plans; situationships are short-term only. Do you and your partner find yourselves always making plans last-minute? Do you tend not to look seriously at the future? That could be the sign of a situationship. Relationships are serious business–situationships, on the other hand, are very casual. If something casual is more your speed, you do you! No judgement. But if you’re looking for a more serious relationship, this could be a “situationship” red flag.
In a relationship, you meet the family (and friends); in a situationship, not so much. Just like all the other signs, this means you and your partner aren’t letting the relationship into your personal lives. And, again, that’s totally okay… as long as that’s what you want. But if you want to get to a more serious stage–beyond the situationship, and into the relationship–it might be time to meet the parents.
There are other red flags to look out for–are you emotionally distant? Inconsistent? Just confused about the relationship in general? It’s time to talk to your partner; every good relationship lies on a foundation of trust, understanding, and communication. Sometimes, it’s hard to move on from a casual relationship (or situationship, as the case may be) to create something more serious together, but it often ends up being worth the time and effort. Who knows? You might go from a friends-with-benefits situationship to a fairytale happily-ever-after!
Read Also: Navigating Social Events: A Practical Gentleman’s Guide to Making a Lasting Impression