Talk Tantra to Me- “7 Steps to Create a Tantra Date Night”
‘Talk Tantra to Me’ by Leola will be a new article in each issue this year.
Leola’s mission is to inspire others to see an integration of sexuality and spirituality in their relationships with themselves and their partners. She guides individuals and couples in discovering how life-force energy moves in the body; and more importantly, how to harness this inner-power for a pleasure-filled life that begins with our most intimate relationships and extends to our livelihood and our worldview. I am here to help you remember how to heal yourself with your own divinity.
We hope you are enlightened.
“7 Steps to Create a Tantra Date Night” By Leola
Prioritizing presence and pleasure is all it takes to take your relationship to the next level. Whether you’re in a long term partnership, dating, or cultivating self-love, I recommend setting aside 3-5 hours once a week for intimate exploration and expression.
Here’s my tried and true recipe for tantric bliss:
- Set the scene. Light candles, set out your favorite toys, create a nest on the ground, make a plate for fruit and chocolate, put on some sexy music, open a bottle of wine, or boil a pot of tea. Try to involve all five senses in your “temple”.
- Start with some movement. I suggest light yoga or dance to warm up the body and let go of any lingering dense or stressful energy. Both yoga and dance incorporate the three basic tools of tantra: sound, breath, and movement.
- Eye Gaze and open. Sit across from one another, or in yab yum position, with the masculine partner’s legs crossed and the feminine partner sitting in his laps with her legs wrapped around his torso. Take a moment to connect with uninterrupted eye contact. Then share a few words with each other… drop in and open up! Share your appreciation for one another, voice any fears, speak into your desires. Set intention. If you are doing this ritual solo, consider eye gazing with yourself in a mirror and journaling.
- Each partner makes a request for non-sexual touch first, such as a back scratch, foot massage, or face stroking. Partners take turns in the giving and receiving role, allowing at least 20 minutes for each rotation. For a solo ritual, incorporate self massage or try stoking yourself with a flower or a feather.
- Then, take a moment to speak into your sexual desires. Allow each partner to voice the stimulation they desire to give and receive. Create space for boundaries and negotiation, as both partners feel into their authentic and full bodied yes! For solo ritual, allow your self-pleasure to be intuitively led – try approaching your genitals in new ways!
- Extend your pleasure. Let go of focus on orgasm and allow energy to come in waves. Use your breath and intention to move the sexual energy into your heart space and crown.
- Come home to your intention. Pair your heightened state of being with your desires for life and love. Speak them out loud with your partner (or alone). Take a moment to share gratitude for your partner (and yourself!), honoring each other as divine beings. Consider taking a nice hot shower or bath to close your ritual.
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